It's been over a year since I last wrote on this blog, discussing my journey with the 21 Day Fix.
Ahh. Sweet Memories....
I was in this weird transition in my life, preparing to leave my first international home to come to another location within the same region. Moving from people who have been my family for the past four years. Embracing going to a newer and higher profile school. But this school year has been hard. If I had to give a headline to each month during this school year, this is what they would be:
August- Humidity is a bitch! And they took my vibrator!
September- Why am I working during the bulk of my Eid Holiday?
October- I want my momma
November- Dating life; not too bad!
December- Christmas in Indiana and Why I worked over Christmas Break.
January- Breakups are necessary; why am I not happy?
February- There is no love for AD
March- I have been a hormonal Bitch this month
April- Spring Break and Clarity
And it's not even May. I actually have the countdown to the end of the year on my phone. 58 days and counting!
This has been a hard transition for me. It has definitely been the grass is greener philosophy this year, and I am writing all of this to say that this year needed to happen. It just needed to happen. I don't regret moving, but I do wish that I could find a piece of me that I had tapped into before leaving Kuwait. Also, this transition has currently forced me to do something I haven't done in awhile, which is to go back to church and find a fellowship.
In all the transition and changes, my depression definitely kicked in hard core the past couple of months, so much so that I scared myself a little bit. My habits of ordering delivery every night, sitting on my couch and sleeping- then going to my bed sleeping, crying at the drop of a dime in the darkness of my apartment- led me down this path that I swore would never happen again. But it started to happen again.
But the saying is that the devil never attacks where we are confident- he hits the areas that we struggle to overcome. That's because we are almost at a place where we could actually conquer those areas of weakness. I want to believe that. I have to for mere survival.
So what am I doing? I'm doing Whole 30 again. I was successful two times, and I need to come in for a third mainly because I need the clarity and the parameters to help get my life back on track. The mental benefits and the believing that I can do it is great. The weight loss that goes with it is also awesome, but that truly isn't the reason why I am doing it. That's secondary to mental relief.
So in a way, I am starting to say hello to myself again. Christina, it's definitely been awhile.
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