Hello! It's Been Awhile!

It's been over a year since I last wrote on this blog, discussing my journey with the 21 Day Fix.

Ahh. Sweet Memories....

I was in this weird transition in my life, preparing to leave my first international home to come to another location within the same region. Moving from people who have been my family for the past four years. Embracing going to a newer and higher profile school. But this school year has been hard. If I had to give a headline to each month during this school year, this is what they would be:

August- Humidity is a bitch! And they took my vibrator!

September- Why am I working during the bulk of my Eid Holiday?

October- I want my momma

November- Dating life; not too bad!

December- Christmas in Indiana and Why I worked over Christmas Break.

January- Breakups are necessary; why am I not happy?

February- There is no love for AD

March- I have been a hormonal Bitch this month

April- Spring Break and Clarity

And it's not even May. I actually have the countdown to the end of the year on my phone. 58 days and counting!

This has been a hard transition for me. It has definitely been the grass is greener philosophy this year, and I am writing all of this to say that this year needed to happen. It just needed to happen. I don't regret moving, but I do wish that I could find a piece of me that I had tapped into before leaving Kuwait. Also, this transition has currently forced me to do something I haven't done in awhile, which is to go back to church and find a fellowship.

In all the transition and changes, my depression definitely kicked in hard core the past couple of months, so much so that I scared myself a little bit. My habits of ordering delivery every night, sitting on my couch and sleeping- then going to my bed sleeping, crying at the drop of a dime in the darkness of my apartment- led me down this path that I swore would never happen again. But it started to happen again.

But the saying is that the devil never attacks where we are confident- he hits the areas that we struggle to overcome. That's because we are almost at a place where we could actually conquer those areas of weakness. I want to believe that. I have to for mere survival.

So what am I doing? I'm doing Whole 30 again. I was successful two times, and I need to come in for a third mainly because I need the clarity and the parameters to help get my life back on track. The mental benefits and the believing that I can do it is great. The weight loss that goes with it is also awesome, but that truly isn't the reason why I am doing it. That's secondary to mental relief.

So in a way, I am starting to say hello to myself again. Christina, it's definitely been awhile.

Quality over Quantity- Day 10 #21DayFix #springbreakchallenge

I was on my living room floor for round four of the Lower Fix today. Sweating and feeling the burn in my inner thigh area, trying to complete these inner thigh leg lifts that were simply burning. And as I slightly cursed the instructor, I came to this epiphany- I'm doing this better! This is why I can really feel it!

I'm not an old hand in fitness, but my level of consistency has not been great the last few years. Fitness is like playing the piano for me: I had the skills to play Chopin, but because I haven't practiced, all I can do is play chopsticks. 

But as I getting into my second week, the quality of my workouts have gotten better and its a small reminder that with consistency, life does get better. It doesn't get easy, just your ability to handle things are better. I couldn't even do these damn leg lifts, but now I have the mindset to try, and I feel the burn in the right way because I am getting stronger.

21 Days cannot fix 20 years of back and forth, but 21 days can get you to the mindset that desiring change and living a better quality of life is a good thing. 

RICE and Soft Launches- Day One Again #21DayFix #springbreakchallenge

So I've decided to count last week as a soft launch on the road to fitness. I had a number of obstacles in front of me that resulted in a loss of willpower, patience, and use of one leg.

So I started off decently, but everyday I was tapping into those damn Girl Scout Cookies. They are evil. I swear they put something in them that make them addictive, and even when I placed them out of sight, I still dug into them periodically everyday.

The spiral continued when I did something to my left leg, causing me to have some righteous pain walking up and down stairs, so my workout efforts were more at a 40% instead of at least 80% for the first week. After consulting WebMD and checking my pride and the mantra, "No Pain, No Gain," I decided to rest and instead of half-assing it. Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation.

Over the weekend, I had to reassess my life and my motivation. What reminders do I need to stay the course and stay focused? Overall, I reminded myself that I really did enjoy just working out and eating food that I cooked. I do love that. I also love looking halfway decent in my clothes too. I decided to say that last week was a soft launch. In business terms, its a way for a company to try out their plan with customers, with an official grand opening after working out the kinks. In fitness terms, it's identifying the strengths and weaknesses of what you started, so that you can correct those issues and be fully committed.

So I decided to start over. Day one again. And with exception to the surrenders that I am afraid of doing but at least did five on each side, it went ok. I am really hoping that I can get my head in the game and stay on track, because the only person that I am hurting is myself.

Almost on track #21dayfix- Day one and two

As I write this on the start of my Day Three, I have to take a moment to reflect on Day One and Two. For the most part, I have been doing ok, with the exception of the looming Girl Scout cookie ghosts in my apartment and life. Luckily, I took the remaining boxes to work yesterday and weening myself off the nonprofit crack.

In all seriousness, this has been my hindrance and so I am ready to overcome. So I gave boxes away, and now they are sitting in  my supervisor's office because I can't be around them. Which probably means that I will have some legit withdrawals in the next couple of days. But hey- no sacrifice = no change.

So let me share some of my thoughts on the program so far:

Pros
I like have a 30 minute fitness routine- Knowing that the routine is 30 minutes just helps me in planning my time better. Sometimes, the Beachbody programs vary in time with some of the programs, and then I want to rush or skip certain ones because they are like 40 minutes or 40 minutes long. Knowing that every routine is 30 minutes is quite helpful.

It's legit so much food- If you plan correctly to get all the containers in, you are eating like every couple of hours. I'm not talking a protein bar and water, but legit meals. You should not be hungry.

Don't let the containers intimidate you- it really just helps with portion control, which helps when you go out to eat. Because I knew I was meeting friends for lunch, I knew exactly what to order, and because I have been working with portion control, I knew exactly what I could eat and how much.

Routines are easily broken down- the way she does rounds lets you know how much and how long you do stuff, which you can totally convince yourself that you can do at least a round. Next thing you know, you're going into your cool-down.

Cons
Autumn is a little annoying- I see her as a Jillian Michaels lite.

The warm-up is exactly the same- so far, the warm up to each one is eaxctly the same. I don't know if this was done on purpose but that's kinda boring. I'm hoping for some change up soon, but we shall see.

The app is not as intuitive as I thought- its helpful to keep track of the containers, but I also want to know what I'm eating. Plus with my foray into Girl Scout cookies, I want to keep myself accountable. So I'm continuing to use the My Fitness Pal app to do that.

Overall, I am glad that I am doing this program, just because of it's length and the need to be focused for the next few weeks. We shall see =)

Kinda Lost My Way, But....

Let's just say that February and part of March will go be known as the, Thank God That's Over period in my life. I went through a lot of ups and downs during this time period and it shows in my body and my outlook. Let me explain.

I traveled a lot- I was on a plane every Thursday from February 11th to March 11th. Two of those flights were to the US for a tournament and a trip home. International travel is brutal on the body, and I am one of those people that enjoy eating airline food (well Emirates and Etihad have some great cuisines) and I have the habit of eating to stay awake until an appropriate bedtime to get over jet lag. Plus, Pringles and M&M's just taste better when you fly. I don't know why, but they do.

Not Cooking-  With all of this travel, I ate out A LOT! Even when I was at home for two or three days, I ate out most of the time because I didn't want to grocery shop and plan. Failing to Plan = Planning to fail.

Socializing- Although I ate out while on the Whole30, I didn't plan well for my transition after for socializing. I just jumped in to eating out and socializing over food without a plan.

The result, I gained 7 pounds and several inches around my body. The results I achieved just a short month prior was quickly destroyed, and my depression and lack of self esteem came back with a vengeance. The other disappointing result was the need to have a seat belt extender for my trip home. How embarrassing, especially when the hot Indian guy that you saw in the airport is your seat mate. AAARGH!!!

But I also know what works for me: short term goals and plans with a due date. Because I know that I can overwhelm myself thinking about all the weight I have to lose, so instead I work well setting smaller goals with a timeline, and that's what I'm going to do. Enter in #SpringBreak!!!!

The plan: I am starting the 21 Day Fix program, which with all the containers and stuff is intimidating. However, it's something that fits what I like to do which is plan my meals. Also, it's an honest shot of completing a BeachBody program that has been collecting dust on my TV mantle for awhile. Plus, I have five uninterrupted weeks back on solid ground.

My Fitness Pal: Although they insist that if you follow the container thing you don't have to journal, but again that is something that I need. I need the accountability. So I am using My Fitness Pal for tracking my food.

#SpringBreak: My next trip is to visit my cousin in Budapest and spend some time in Vienna. My goal is to travel without that damn seat belt extender. Although the 21 days end on April 2nd, extending the plan into Spring Break will give me some extra incentive. I will also use that time to figure out how to enjoy my Spring Break (beer, potatoes, pork) without destroying my results.

Wish me luck!

#JanuaryWhole30- The end result

Sorry for not writing the past week or so. It's been a pretty busy end of January! But thankfully, I managed to complete my Whole30 on February 2, 2016.

The physical differences: I lost 12 pounds, and a total of 10 inches on my body. I definitely have more energy and I am having a more restful sleep. So much that I feel entirely rested around 3am and I'm wide awake. But I want to go back to sleep, but I want to stay up.

The mental difference: I feel as if I have more clearer thoughts. I also feel less depressed about things, and handling stress a little better.

This round was tougher then the first because I wanted to make sure that the amount of energy I put into this round was the same as the first time I did it. However, expecting the same thing is crazy and I had to take this experience as a chance to reevaluate my life in the process. I'm actually happy to report that I am an ever evolving woman, and happy for the wisdom of age and experience.

So what will my challenge be for the month of February? Fitness everyday. Not exactly a complete routine everyday, but doing more physical fitness into my everyday at school. This will also spread into my travels because I will have to find the challenge of doing physical fitness while travelling.

I promise to keep you posted =)

#JanuaryWhole30- Day 18- Leave me the F#$% Alone and Give me that damn fatayer!

The past two days I've been in bitchy mode- keeping to myself, getting angry over little things, wondering what is the point of all of this sacrifice. Today it came to a head, when I had to feign interest at work, and show that I care about a student who clearly only cares about himself.

I couldn't explain it. Why was I so mad? So angry?

My secretary, God bless her, said it out loud: "It's because you're dieting." That's it right there.

And for a moment I was thinking forget all of my progress. Especially when the fresh baked delicacy of cheese fatayer is sitting in the office, waiting for hungry teens at the end of the day. Fatayer is evil. It's the combination of fresh bread, melted cheese, and butter, that no one else can imagine unless you live in the Middle East. Fatayer is good with everything.

And I definitely had that moment where I was about to take just one and decided against it, because I realized that although I am pissed at the world right now, I am starting to feel better again. Is this fatayer so good that I am willing to throw away the last 18 days? It isn't. Not right now. I have important things coming up in my life that this little sidetrack can't knock me off: A trip to Boston with 17 teenagers, my sister's wedding, brunch in Abu Dhabi and hanging out at my new school, Spring Break in Budapest and Vienna, graduation day, going home for summer, etc. It just isn't worth it anymore. Not to say that I won't ever have fatayer again, but instead I will enjoy the moment when it is the right time.

I've been thinking about the difference between this Whole30 and my last one, and it's really much harder the second time around. But when February 3rd comes around, the victory in completing this journey is twice as sweet, and twice as long lasting. That's what I need to remember.